2 Corinthians 5:17

so i was at work today and i was getting measurments on one of our patients.  she’s 3 years old and such a cutie.  suddenly i look into this little girls eyes.  she was so full of love, innocence,  happiness.  i felt like i was looking at God.  does he look at me that way?

i also embarked into a memory. did i ever look that deep into my daughters eyes when she was that little or was i so busy trying to get through that i didn’t find the time?  i can’t remember and it saddens me.  did i see the innocence in her?  i was so young.  i was a yeller.  i yelled alot.  if i had done things different would she be different?  more confident?  this is when the enemy get’s me and i really try hard not to entertain those thoughts.  the guilt sets in.  i know that all the bad i did and yet to do has been forgiven.  christ did that for me!  the enemy though really tries hard to get me back to that place.  then i remember the scripture. 

17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

this is my warfare in this battle of my mind.  the word is truth and if what i am thinking isn’t lining up with god’s word then it’s not truth.  i cannot change my past but i can forgive myself and change my future.  well not really God does that for me!  so i begin to meditate on the scripture instead of all the times i yelled at my kids when i should have just been staring into their eyes and seeing God.  thank you father for your word, your voice, your wisdom, and most of all YOUR LOVE.  next scripture:

PSALM 34:4

“I sought the lord and he heard me.”

he knew where my mind was going and he sent me his word.  i am seeking him so i’t so much easier to hear from him now. thanks again God!  you are def my BFF for life! LOL (true though)